The Hole In The Wall
by Cella N
Summary: Sakura is finally free, finally independant, finally living one her own. If only Naruto hadn't blown a hole in her bathroom wall. SAKURA. NARUTO. SASUKE. KAKASHI. OTHERS. This is where you laugh at life. AU. Verily.
1. i naruto, kakashi, and mirrors

First Naruto fic. Thanks to Silent Shadow1. All you who came here for Harry Potter fics: I'm taking a long, long, long break from those. Sorry. Also, no pairings established so far.

Summary: Haruno Sakura is finally free, finally independant, and finally living on her own. Which would be nice, if Naruto hadn't blown a hole into her wall. SAKURA. NARUTO. KAKASHI. "This is where you laugh at life." AU. Verily.

**i. naruto, kakashi, and mirrors held by bubblegum**

In the little village-slash-town of Konoha, there is an organization which shines among the rest. It is called Child Care Centre by the elders. By the teachers and employees of this organization, it is called Hell. It's a simple building, where parents drop off their little children before going to work, or when they must leave town in pursuit of business outside. Basically, it's like when you have a dog, and you have to go on vacation. You leave the dog at the dog pound. Konoha's Child Care Centre was exactly that, a dog pound. Only, you know…for kids. Although some kids did behave like dogs sometimes…

Anyway, the Centre also took in orphans, abandoned children, and problematic children-slash-teens. There were a few rules the Centre imposed to all their occupants, as is normal in an organized organization. First, any orphan is to be treated the same as any other child. Said orphan had a place in the Centre up until they reached the age of 18, where they could either: a) work for the Centre and take care of other, younger children; or b) find themselves an apartment, a job, and detach themselves from the Centre completely. Second rule stated that each child must attend the schooling program in said centre, as well as a couple of extra-curricular activities, such as: karate, tennis, football, ballet, learn-how-to-cook-for-when-you're-old-and-out-of-our-hair, and other specialities which could get you a job at a local workshop.

Our story, however, does not revolve around the Child Care Centre. Our story revolves around Haruno Sakura, aged 18, recently out of the Child Care Centre. So recently out of there, in fact, that at the moment, she is celebrating a party in her new flat.

Before we proceed, a few things must be known about Sakura. Sakura entered the Centre when she was 12, and back then she was one of those problematic teens. How she ended up at the Centre, no one knows, but many suspect. There are rumours, as per usual. Some say it was because Sakura had beaten the living daylights out of an old classmate. Some say she had killed someone. The truth is, Sakura got there for stabbing. She was a normal girl or as normal as you can get with Bipolar Disorder, minding her own business in the school's Library, when she spotted some idiot manhandling a girl. Enraged, and cheered on by a little voice in her head, she took her sharpened pencil, and stabbed the idiot, hitting the arm which held the other girl prisoner. The smaller girl managed to run away, while Sakura stood imposingly over the crying idiot. Two days later, she was thrown into the Centre by her parents who, after finding out that their daughter was bordering on insanity, forgot all about her. At the Centre, Sakura was among the few girls to join the karate class, and one of the fewer people who could stand talking to Uzumaki Naruto for more than two minutes. As a matter of fact, they were quite the best of friends.

And that brings us to now, at Sakura's party, in Sakura's new flat, where she has invited everyone in her karate class, Naruto included. Sakura at the moment, is talking to her sensei, Hatake Kakashi, and some of her old teachers. Naruto, in the mean time, is behaving like a drunken retard.

Which can be understood, seeing as this is Naruto, and seeing as he is drunk.

The blond boy stumbles into the walls of Sakura's flat, until he reaches the bathroom. There, he proceeds to greet his dinner. In the middle of nearly falling asleep with his head on the toilet seat, and standing up clumsily, Naruto…dreams.

_There is dust and water, and water and dust. He's running, jumping, throwing knives, and stones, and kunai, senbon, whatever he needs. The beast inside of him tells him to **kill, kill the little bastard, be a good boy for once, do it, do it**. But he can't, he can't because **I promised Sakura-chan I'd bring him back, and I want him to come back, because he's Sasuke, and he's a jerk, but he's our jerk, and we need him**. And again, he jumps, and the boy who he fights is no longer a boy, but a monster, with wings, and he's smirking, and taunting, and Naruto is lost, and doesn't want to do it, but has to, because Sakura-chan needs him too. He won't kill Sasuke, he'll hurt him, though, like he's hurt them, like he's made Sakura cry, and Naruto spit blood. He jumps again, and there's water, and water, and air, and…**RASENGAN!**_

Naruto blinks, and stares at his hand. Blood. How did he get blood on his hand? He remembers drinking too much, because Sakura-chan is finally laughing again, and he remembers dreaming about a fight with a winged monster. He remembers his hands glowing, and him bringing his fist forward, ready to hit and, and…

Oh…_shit._

Well. There's now a hole in Sakura's bathroom wall, right above her sink. And no matter how drunk he is, Naruto knows it was his fist that put that hole in there. He never knew he was that powerful, though, because it's a freaking big hole, and he can see into Sakura's neighbour's bathroom. All he can think of is that the walls are definitely made of paper, or the construction is really shitty, and that _Sakura is going to kill him dead._

Breathing. Breathing is good.

So, how to hide it, how to hide it? How to hide the freaking huge hole in the wall before Sakura finds it, and kills him? Naruto doesn't want to die, he wants to live. There is only one thing to do. When in doubt, find Kakashi-sensei!

But how to leave the bathroom, and be sure that Sakura won't come in, and find the hole, and make another hole in Naruto's head? The only way to solve this, is to get Kakashi's attention from there. He creaks the door open, and scouts the area. Sure enough, there is Kakashi, together with Gai, Genma and oh no…Sakura. Well, he'll just have to avoid catching Sakura's attention. What was it that Kakashi-sensei always said? A ninja always knows when he's being watched. Which was stupid, because they weren't ninjas, they were just abandoned kids learning karate, but anyway. Naruto fixes his blue eyes on the back of Kakashi's head, and waits. Sure enough, seconds later, Kakashi turns around, and spots Naruto signing him to come over.

"What?" the older man asks, when he's finally reached the bathroom door.

Naruto just pulls him inside the bathroom, and locks the door behind them. When he turns around, he finds Kakashi staring at the hole in the wall. Kakashi looks from the hole to Naruto, then to Naruto's bloodied fist, then the hole again. Hole, Naruto, fist. Fist, hole, Naruto. Fist, hole, Naruto, door, window, floor. Laughter.

"Stop laughing!" Naruto shouts, punching Kakashi in the shoulder.

"Oooh, Sakura is going to kill you so much," Kakashi says, smirking.

"She doesn't have to know, okay? I need your help."

"Aa. Of course you do, but if Sakura ever kills you, let me be around."

"To save me from the clutches of Death?"

Kakashi snorts. "To laugh while you get beaten."

"OI! Evil sensei!" Naruto shouts, and glares at the man.

"Well. We could find a way to cover that whole up, but there's still the problem of Sakura's neighbour. Think he's gonna notice there's a hole above his sink?" Kakashi asks, inwardly--and outwardly--laughing.

"Ungh," Naruto replies, already thinking what song he wants at his funeral, and which people shouldn't be invited. _I wonder if wanting roses at my funeral would make me look as a nancy-boy._

"Look," Kakashi says, snapping Naruto out of his planning. The boy follows his sensei's pointing finger and lands on a mirror leaning on the wall, beneath the sink. "Sakura must have not had the time to put it up."

Naruto blinks, and continues looking at the mirror. _It has a nice frame._

Kakashi sighs, rubbing a hand over his face. "There's a mirror, Naruto."

"So?"

"It's big. And not broken."

"…So?"

"You were looking for something to cover that big hole you put into Sakura's bathroom wall, right?"

"Yeah…"

"MIRROR, NATURO!"

"ACK! Fine! I got it!"

"Finally."

"But," Naruto says, scratching the back of his head, "how do we hang it up without nails and hammer, and without being heard?"

There is a pause, in which Kakashi thinks. Naruto looks at his sensei in wonder. _Look at him. Here stands a genius, devising a genius plan, to cover up that hole with that mirror and not be heard. Kakashi-sensei is really smart, he'll find a solution somehow!_

Kakashi snaps his fingers, and Naruto prepares himself for the smart solution. "Chewing gum."

Silence. Somewhere far away, a bird chirps. Naruto stares at Kakashi, wondering when he's going to see that second head grow.

"Chewing gum," the boy repeats, raising a blond eyebrow.

"Well, it'll hold until we can sneak in again and use nails and a hammer."

"Okay…You got chewing gum on you?"

Half a minute later, Hatake Kakashi and Uzumaki Naruto are chewing two packets of chewing gum, looking out of breath, and as if they've just run into Sakura's fist. Ten times.

"Oo fink S'ra'll no'ice?" Naruto asks, tongue twisting in the sticky--but sweet flavoured!--substance.

Kakashi shrugs, after all, he's not the one who'll die if Sakura does notice there's a mirror stuck to her wall with chewing gum, and said mirror is hiding a big hole. She probably won't remember when she put the mirror up, and if they're lucky, maybe Naruto can buy himself a plane ticket out of Konoha by the time she sees the hole. And hopefully, the neighbour will continue not coming home, because, judging from the amount of dust in his bathroom, the flat's right about abandoned. Which suits them just fine.

Half an hour later, sweating, and out of breath, Kakashi and Naruto look up at their work in content. The mirror--which really does have a nice frame--has been stuck to the wall with a lot of pink chewing gum, and it holds. Naruto and Kakashi never want to see strawberry flavoured chewing gum again. Actually, they never want to see strawberries. Ever.

But the job is done, so they brush a proud tear from their eyes, and exit the bathroom silently. Their intention is to mingle for a while, then leave the party. The following morning, Naruto will come back and nail the mirror while Sakura is at her job. And after that, the plane ticket to some deserted island. At least, that's their intention. Unfortunately, not two steps from the bathroom, Gai appears behind them, swinging his arms around their shoulders and bringing them into a tight hug.

"It is so unfair that you should have to hide your love!" Gai says, among sobs.

"Hide…love…what?" Naruto chokes, struggling for air.

"I curse this society for making two people in love have to hide their love by sneaking into the bathroom! Curse this society, because one shouldn't be ashamed for being in love with one's younger student, Kakashi! After all, you are both in your rights to enjoy the flames of youth and love and, ooh! But I, Gai, will support you two, for that is what I do!" he shouted, and then let them go, and sprinting off to spread the news that Kakashi+Narutolove.

"Why can't you kill him?" Naruto asked.

"Because he's my friend…or something like that," Kakashi answered, his eye twitching. "Although I might make an exception."

"Can I watch?" Naruto asked, an evil grin coming over his face.

* * *

Later that night, after everyone had left, Sakura let herself fall onto her new bed, and sighed contently. She was finally free, finally alone, and finally independent. She could kick anyone's ass, her inner voice hadn't spoken a word in months, and the new flat rocked beyond imagination. The party had also been a hit, and all her teachers and ex-schoolmates congratulated her and wished her luck. Tomorrow, she'd start her job at the local snob club as a guardian-slash-bodyguard, she'd have money, and life was just great. There was that part where Gai had started telling everyone that Kakashi and Naruto were involved, ending with Kakashi knocking Gai unconscious, which lead to Lee clutching his mentor and cursing Kakashi, and that had been where Sakura decided the party was over. But all things considered, Naruto had behaved rather well. With that in mind, sleep took over.

The CLANG! coming from the bathroom wasn't noticed by the sleeping girl.

Several houses away, Naruto decided that maybe instead of roses he should ask for tulips. Tulips always looked nicer at funerals.

* * *

21/04/2006

Cella


	2. ii something wrong with my reflection

**Title:** The Hole In The Wall (ch. 02)  
**Author:** Cella N   
**Fandom:**Naruto  
**Characters:** SasuSakuNaruKaka (somewhat)  
**Summary:** _Haruno Sakura is finally free, finally independant, and finally living on her own. Which would be nice, if Naruto hadn't blown a hole into her wall._ SAKURA. SASUKE. NARUTO. KAKASHI. "This is where you laugh at life."   
**Spoilers:** AU. Verily  
**Dedications:** To whoever reads this: you rule, for putting up with my crack.  
**A/N:** This is a project I'm working on. So far, I'm not sure where it's going, but it's...um...going. Hopefully. As for the ships, I think that it's going to be more about humour and life than anything else. Putting team 7 in a new world, and facing them with day-to-day troubles. Friendship between them, that's for sure, and maybe some pairings in between. I'll let you know.

**ii. something wrong with my reflection**

It's been a while, thought Uchiha Sasuke upon entering his deserted, dark flat.

It's been four months to be exact, four months spending time in his family's company. His mother had been, as usual, centred on his brother, Itachi, and all the perfect things he had done. His father, eh…not that his father was entirely well in the head--and this was a trait which was passed throughout all the Uchiha males--, but he had treated Sasuke as if he were a ghost. Which was how he was normally treated when visiting the Uchiha house. Well…he supposed he did deserve it a bit. After all, it had been him alone the one to distance himself from his family. Seeing as too much Itachi was bad on his mental sanity, and because by being an Uchiha male he had more risk to end up in a looney house, he decided to emancipate himself before it was too late.

It's not that Uchiha Sasuke was insane, per se. He had been told, on some occasions, that his insistent staring tended to make one's eye twitch. Of course, insistent staring also got him loads of fan girls, and Sasuke didn't really know which was worse. It wasn't that he wanted to stare at people, not saying a word, with those black eyes of his, looking like the Supreme Ice Prince. Not really. It was more the fault of his habit of dozing off. One moment, he was staring deep into his companion's eyes, and the next one he was wondering if he had turned the gas off before leaving his flat. Still staring at his companion, and still doing his _Warning: Intensive Brooding In Here_ face, he remembered he couldn't have left the gas on, because he hadn't paid the bills, so he didn't _have_ any gas to begin with. That normally turned into the idea that he really, really, really needed a job again, because working for your father did not do well if you claimed to be emancipated. Or if your father was crazy. Normally, all this thinking about something entirely different while watching the person with him, tended to make whoever was with him twitch, get angry, and leave. If it was a date, then the woman with him would normally throw her beverage at him. That came from watching too many movies, and almost half of Sasuke's pants and suits had learned to hate movies. And beverages, in general.

With a loud sigh, and displaying more emotion than he normally would on a good hair day, Sasuke made his way to his bedroom. Four months of absence had probably accumulated a lot of dust and cobwebs in his beloved flat, and that did not bode well. Still, the ride back home had exhausted him, so for tonight, he'd have to deal with the dust. He'd shake his bed sheets before going to sleep, just to be sure.

Well. The baggage, he'd unpack tomorrow morning or something. It was late at night, he had to get up early in the morning for welcome-back breakfast with his Brood Club friends, so there was no time to put on sleeping clothes. With terrible grace, Sasuke let himself fall on the still dusty bed, and was instantly asleep.

-----

Waking up the morning after you had a party was not easy. Waking up in the morning because you had to go to work was a nightmare. At least for Sakura, whose head was spinning, not because she had a hangover, but because she finally realised she lived alone. For the first time in her life, Sakura had no idea whether to scream or laugh.

Before that unpleasant incident with the idiot in the library, and the stabbing, Sakura had been very loved by her parents. Sort of. Somewhat. Okay, so her parents were society freaks who worried more about 'what will our very important friends say?' than for Sakura's health. She had been consistently instructed what she was allowed and what she wasn't allowed to do in society, and that she should never ever ever shame her parents. Her only good friend in the Haruno family had been her father's mother, her paternal grandmother, who--bless her soul--, before dying, said the wisest words Sakura ever heard. _Never take anyone's shit._ No, wait. That wasn't it, it had sounded more philosophical. Um…oh yeah: _Sakura, you're a girl, and your parents suck. I'm surprised I managed to give birth to that uptight idiot you call father, but that's beside the point. You listen to me, girl, and listen well. Never let them control you, Sakura. You're free, and you're free of what society thinks of you. Don't give a damn, girl, because once you do, your ass is toast. Never stand for their stupidities. Soon as you can, leave, leave and go as far away from their boxed world as you can. Oh, and don't let anyone pick on you._

Haruno Tomoyo hadn't exactly been a fountain of philosophical wisdom on her death bed. Okay, the woman had a tendency to rant, babble, and swear like a sailor, but she had been Sakura's friend since forever, and Sakura had listened to the old woman.

After she was 12, after the library incident, Sakura ended up at the Child Care Centre, disowned by her family for having shamed them. She was ignored, and scorned by all but by Uzumaki Naruto, and it had taken the brash blonde two bowls of ramen to bring Sakura to the Naruto Side, and make sure she never ever left. People asked her if she was crazy, because no one could stand hanging out with Naruto. Sakura answered that yes, she was crazy, and she had a medical certificate to prove it, stamped, signed, with the title 'Bipolar Disorder And Slight Scyzophrenia' to prove it. If they still continued to bother her about Naruto, she'd ask them if they wanted to know about her short month at the Mental Institution. That's about when they all left.

Sakura had dealt with solace easily before, but now that she knew she was really living on her own, depending on herself, she had a slight panic attack. Nothing a good breakfast couldn't cure.

-------

Sasuke rolled over in his bed, and opened his eyes lazily.

Another day in life, another morning. Same routine as always. He stood up, and slowly made his way towards the bathroom, certain that today would be just like all the other days. He turned the tap on, and washed his face. Staying there, with his face in his hands, he let out a deep breath. _Ready._ He stood up straight, and watched in front of him.

And then, the screaming began.

Five seconds later, the screaming ceased. Sasuke brought his hand up, and leaned in. The figure on the other side, did the same. He tilted his head to the side, and the figure on the other side did the same. He frowned, trying to remember what he had drunk last night. Because obviously, something was Not Right.

And by Not Right, he meant that, there was something wrong with his reflection. His hair was pink, for one. Pink, and ruffled, and chopped hastily here and there. His eyes were green. His skin was pale. Come to think of it, that was normal. But worst of all. _He had boobs._

"…the _fuck_?" his reflection blurted, and it was the most eloquent thing Sasuke had heard so far.

He blinked. "You're not my reflection," he said.

"And you're not my reflection," the boobed-pink-haired-green-eyed-Sasuke-wannabe said.

"Who are you?" he demanded, Uchiha arrogance coming back full-fledged.

"Haruno Sakura. I live here. Who are you?" she asked.

"Uchiha Sasuke. I live _here_," he said. Then he blinked owlishly again, finally waking up. "There's a hole in our bathroom wall."

"No shit."

----------

About ten minutes past ten, a phone rang in the collective dormitories, and many people groaned and rolled over. Many people were also grateful that soon enough, Uzumaki would leave the Centre, and that would be good. The phone kept ringing.

"Oi, Naruto," a boy muttered, throwing his pillow at the sleeping blond.

The phone rang some more. Eleven minutes past ten, in the freaking morning, Uzumaki Naruto answered his cell-phone. "Yes?"

"YOU ARE SO DEAD!"

Not many could see Naruto's face, but many could hear the screaming voice coming from the other end of the telephone line. Many recognized it, and many remembered how she screamed at them, with the same tone. They suspected, reasonably, that Naruto was as pale as a ghost. He was also trying to reason with the girl on the line.

"Sakura-ch--"

"_DON'T YOU FUCKING SAKURA-CHAN, ME, UZUMAKI! YOU BROKE A HOLE IN MY WALL!_"

"But that could've been anyone--"

"_YOU LEFT YOUR SIGNATURE ON THE BUBBLE-GUM, YOU IDIOT!_"

Ah. Well, that was the only piece of vanity he had left. That tattoo around his belly had become his trade signature since four years ago, when he'd gotten it. In fact, it wouldn't help with the fact that Sakura had been the one to choose the design. He knew he shouldn't have left his signature, hell, even Kakashi-sensei had told him not to, but he just couldn't resist. Every piece of art needed a signature. His piece of art obviously didn't hold up long enough.

"_…AND YOU'RE GOING TO PAY FOR ALL THE REPAIRS, EVEN IF YOU HAVE TO GIVE EVERYONE AND THEIR DOG A BLOWJOB TO PULL THE MONEY, YOU DOPE!"_

"Yes, Sakura-chan--"

"_YOU'RE FUCKING LUCKY I HAVE TO WORK, OR I WOULD'VE COME AND KILLED YOU EARLIER!"_

"Yes, Sakura-chan--"

_"YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE THE IDIOT, STUCK-UP NEIGHBOUR I HAVE, WHO, BY THE WAY, CAME BACK HOME YESTERDAY! YOU'RE GOING TO COME HERE LATER AND APPOLOGIZE, YOU UNDERSTAND?"_

"Yes, Sakura-chan--"

_"I'LL COME PICK YOU UP WHEN I GET OUT FROM WORK, AND YOU BEST BE READY TO KISS ASS, YOU HEAR?"_

"Yes, Sakura-chan--"

_"ARE YOU PATRONIZING ME!"_

"Y-NO, Sakura-chan!"

_"GOOD. DON'T RUN OUT OF THE COUNTRY."_

"Bye, Sakura-chan."

He hung up. There was a moment of pause, and then a collective snicker going around the dormitory.

"Dude. You're fucked," one of the boys said.

Naruto could've sworn _tears _were coming from his eyes. He did what was reasonable in this situation. He went to look for Kakashi-sensei.


End file.
